That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex.
I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I’m not coming into work.” – Good morning, boss, unfortunately, I’m not coming to work today. Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.” Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.” Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.” Reporter: “No, no! I mean male or female?” Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?”.Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Condoms have evolved: they’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.The hockey player takes a shower after three periods. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?.Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?Ī: Slow down.I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep – that’s got to be the ultimate rejection.If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.That was an insect.” To which one of the boys replies, “I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!” Embarrassed, and to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says, “Don’t worry. A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.The guy in the middle says, “Wow that’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing.” In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.” The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that he’s had the same dream, too. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. A random assortment of knock knock jokes for kids.Here come the longer funny jokes! Be careful, with them: The funny knock-knock jokes for kids below are a mixed selection of words, expressions, household items, and more suitable for any grade level. Sue-prize! Happy birthday! Other Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids
Rough, rough! It’s your dog! Birthday Knock-Knock JokesĮveryone has a birthday so why not share something funny in your card or laugh out loud over cake? Be the comedian with these birthday jokes.Ībbey birthday to you, Abbey birthday to you… Leash you could do is answer the doorbell! Howl you know it’s me unless you open the door? Yukon say that again! Dog Knock-Knock JokesĮven the family dog can get involved in silly kids’ jokes.ĭefense has a hole in it-so our dog got loose. Kenya feel the love tonight? (sing along!) Havana a wonderful time wish you were here! Travel is one of those times when a sense of humor can be an invaluable parenting tool. Maybe you’re even headed to one of these fantastic destinations. The silly jokes below are good fun to tell on road trips and planes. Is there an owl in here? Place Knock-Knock Jokes Some bunny has been eating all my carrots! Interrupting cow (you yell MOOOOOO before they can say, “who?”). Owls are featured in many animal jokes, thanks to their “who” sounds.Īlpaca the trunk, you a-pack-a the suitcase!Ĭhick your stove, I can smell it burning! Little kids may enjoy envisioning the animals below knocking on the front door and delivering punchlines good for some laughs. Will you let me in? It’s freezing out here! Animal Knock-Knock Jokes Wendy bell works again, I won’t have to knock. Justin the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by. Joking around with you is one of my favorite things to do! Name Knock-Knock Jokesĭoes anyone in your family have a name on this list? Maybe your kids have a classmate at school they can share one of these jokes with? How fun to have a joke with your name in it!Īl give you a high five if you open this door!Īnnie thing you can do I can better! (bonus points if you sing this line)Įxactly how many Billy Bob Joe Pennies do you know? Children can definitely relate to ice cream!īefore I get cold, you’d better let me in!īroccoli doesn’t have a last name, silly.īutter be quick.
#Knock jokes pro#
We all have a relationship to food, so these jokes are easy for really young kids like toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarten age to understand and retell like a pro comedian.